I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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