We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
