Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
