I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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