I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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