Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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