he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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