That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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