omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
