I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Two words: nipple clamps
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