You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
