Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
