these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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