omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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