just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize