I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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