I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
