is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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