I CAN MOONWALK!
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
