I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
