dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
this beer tastes like vomit already
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Randomize
