just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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