We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
