she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Semen is not good for contacts.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
did i just pee glitter
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
