I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
