We're like a lot better than the average bears
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
