I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
