I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
