In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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