small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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