Porn is love you can see.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
