I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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