The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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