The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
