I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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