try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize