His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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