The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
