Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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