The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
