Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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