That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
