I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
