I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
