if i died would you start the facebook group?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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