I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
