gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
