your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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