A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize