id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!