This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
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In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
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I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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