i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
