A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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