don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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