if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize