He is an equal opportunity slut.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
