weddingsv make me drug and hornr
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
