best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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