She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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