You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
