My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
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