The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
