i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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