I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
