Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
