like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
