i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize